what kind of fuckery is this?

poopflow:

you put the condom on your dick
but you don’t actually do any fucking
it’s a metaphor
I can’t get laid

(via religiousdad)


reblog if you are the most pure and holy blogger

(Source: monetizeyourcat, via religiousdad)


" You loved a poet who smokes menthol cigarettes. You loved the popular girl in school. You loved someone who stuck her fingers down her throat as penance for feeling pleasure, but was afraid of popping pimples. You loved a hair straightener, a cat lady, a drawer full of prescription pill bottles. You loved a little girl. You loved a lost puppy. You loved a dry addict. You loved a lot of dry skin. You loved loud rap music. You loved ramen noodles with the water poured out. You loved Dior mascara stained cheeks, white grape White Owl wrappers, a black SUV with a broken air conditioner. You loved fake flowers. You loved teenage catch phrases. You loved the never-had-a-job, always-had-a-therapist, not-a-bitch-to-fuck-with baby. You loved a false prophet. You loved a bottle of rum marked “truth serum”. You loved high heels in the kitchen. You loved barefoot on the highway. You loved a Breakfast at Tiffany’s afternoon overdose (please don’t call an ambulance everything is fine). You loved vertigo, osteopenia, and a laundry list of mental diagnoses. You loved red. You loved grammar. You loved cliches. You loved me. "